Never google images for broken toes!!!

4:30am and cannot sleep due to toe hurting like a real bastard each time it touches the duvet, the matress, or one of the dogs.

Managed to whack my poor toe onto a corner last night.  Yes, it was painful, but no more than the normal pain that arises when I manage to stub my toes onto something.

But it got bad going to bed, and took a peek at it now, and the bugger is all swollen and a delicious purple colour.


Having had broken toes in the past, and knowing there’s not much you can do for it, apart from taping it up, but I’d forgotten what they looked like, and figured I’d google “broken toe” and look at pics to see whether I was gonna be bothered to try and find some tape to use or not.


*pukes*  Never google “broken toe” and look at the pics!  Never!  It didn’t start too bad… but then it got ugly… oh so ugly.  Why can’t things be unseen?!  This is nearly as bad as when my curiosity forced me to see The Human Centipide (never see this film!!!).


*toodles off to try and find some tape for the bastard toe, whilst desperately trying to force images of disgusting toes out of her mind*

Her name was Tia…


And she left us living about 2 hours ago.  😦


I knew last night… at her 10pm feed, I realised she would leave.  And it made it even worse, as this afternoon, for the first time, I felt real hope.

This afternoon she did pushy paws!  She went on her mothers boob, and for a few minutes, she was in heaven right here.  I remember thinking afterwards, having seen her so happy, suckling from her mother like the others, purring, and pushing her tiny little paws up and down… that even if she was to leave soon, maybe it was all worth it just for those few minutes of bliss.


I hope it was worth it.  I truly do.  She had less than a week.  Less than a week, and a moment of bliss.


Pie’s been great.  When I realised she was fading last night, I simply started howling.  Sitting there with tiny little Tia in my hand, knowing that it suddenly wouldn’t matter how hard I try, she wasn’t gonna stay.  And my Monkey-Pie came and snuggled me, rubbing my tears away with her face.


And still I hoped.  Even though I knew Tia was now going with the flow, instead of fighting the tide.  I’m crying, but I already did my grieving in those hours between 10pm and 4am.


She had her last feed at 2am… both me and her knew it was the last supper, so kept it short, and instead, I laid down on the bed, with little Tia on top of my chest, snuggled up warm under my PJs, and cupping my hand around her.

Around 3am she started purring, and doing pushypaws against my fingertips.  Then we just laid there, me softly weeping, and her drifting further and further away.


The pic above was taken two days ago (the brown “cord” is just umbilical cord, that was still stuck on one of the babies).  You can see how incredibly tiny she was compared to the others.  Yes, the beautiful, but oh so tiny girl to the left in the image was born on the same day as the rest of them.


Sweet dreams, Tia.  I know it’s not much – but you were loved.  May you grow big and strong where you are now.

Her name is Tia…


And I’m not certain how long she will stay here for, but I hope and pray it will be for a long time.

So far, she’s beating the odds, and has blessed us with her presence for 4 days.  🙂

Each day is a little miracle, just like she is.


Yes, Pie’s had her babies, born 2 days early.  5 babies – 4 of them very healthy and happy indeed (or at the moment – very chubby, and behaving like barbarians while fighting over the boobies).

And then there is Tia.  Born smack bang in the middle of the litter.  About half the size of her siblings… and not breathing (I was however prepared, and had been reading up on how to help little kittens breathe).

I didn’t think she was going to make it to day 2… but she did.  And then day 3… and now on day 4.

She’s getting handfed every second hour, or I keep trying each hour if I’m not happy with the amount she’s had.   Emotionally and physically I’m completely drained, but each time she takes some formula from the bottle makes it worth it.  🙂

I was pulled in two directions, on whether to take her to the vets to be tube fed, or try bottle and formula… and in the end I opted for the bottle.  The tube is no guarantee she’ll make it, and if she’ not going to make it… then I’d rather she’s known the love from Pie, and the warmth of her siblings, than a surgery.

She’s so incredibly little.  And although she’s grown (she’s now nearly the size her siblings were when they were born), the other’s are growing so much faster, and now nearly look three times her size.


The bad is that she’s still so terribly small, and won’t drink from Pie.  The good news is that she’s feisty (she’s some wiggle worm, and will climb both over me when trying to feed her, and her mother and siblings), and doesn’t appear to be in any sort of distress (she doesn’t cry, apart from when I initially lift her from the rest of the gang).


If you pray, I’d appreciate a little prayer for the tiny little Tia… and if you don’t, then I’d appreciate some good vibes sent her way.  🙂


Move over Mary Berry!


I made biccies!!!  And yes, I’m uber-proud, as it’s the very first time I’ve made biscuits.  I’ve made cookies (the gooey variety) many times, but never given biccies a go before.

And clearly they were edible, as the other half had polished off 4 of them before I got to take a pic of the finished result.  😀

However, haven’t tried them myself, seems an odd side effect from the pills are NOT wanting anything sweet.  Can you imagine?  I’ve gone three days without chocolate!  For a complete chocoholic, this is very odd indeed.

Anyway, onto the biccies…


To make the super easy biccies you will need:

  • 1 cup butter
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 2 cups plain flour
  • 1 cup chocolate!
  • 1 egg yolk

Put the oven to 180 degrees c – and mix everything apart from the chocolate in a bowl.  You’ll have to get your hands in there.  😀

You’ll get a crumbly “dough” that will stick together.

Throw in the chocolate.  I used little chocolate drops, but you could just take a plate of chocolate and go crazy and whack it with a rolling pin until you get little pieces.  Great for stress relief too.  😀

Give it a few stirs with the hands, and then shape little pieces of the dough into balls and flatten.

Mine made 20 biccies, but the cups I used were fairly large.

Stick in the oven for about 10-15 minutes, until golden around the edges.

They will be floppy when out of the oven, so places them to cool, and they’ll harden right up!  Proper crunchy and melt in your mouth with all that butter and sugar.  😀


Posted for the ace competition running over at Stuck in The Tree – hurry up, though!  You only got until tomorrow to enter… but what an excellent way to spend a rainy weekend – baking something yummy!  🙂

Open to all who have a paypal account!!!  So not just limited to the UK!


Princess Zoloft


Not to be confused with Princess Zelda.  😉

Little update on the health… been to the hospital, more blood drawn (these test apperantly take 4-6 weeks for results!), another ECG done, and I’m on a list to get one of those heart monitors to wear for a few days…

However, not back in the hospital for three months!!!  And I refuse to feel this shitty until then… so you take action.  And what is action?  Zoloft!

I went to the docs, first thing I said was “I want drugs!”.  Hahahaha.  Armed with printouts of what could help for the fatigue (I can deal with crazy heart, the pain, migranes, wonky eyes, wanting to puke, and being out of breath if I could just get a little bit of energy).  I had decided on either trying Prozac, Paxil or Zoloft… with Prozac being my first choice after comparing the side effects (which are all similar, but Prozac seem a little better than the others).

Doc however advised that Prozac is “old-fashioned”, and Paxil is very hard to come off of, which left Zoloft.

So, first tablet yesterday… 5 hours later I was “tipsy” (or, if you’ve ever tried “Bubble Gum” weed, just like that).  Everything was blooming hilarious.

Again, did a wee bit of a search, and it should hopefully adjust in 4-5 days at the max.  I don’t mind being happy, but getting the giggles from anything and everything is a little over the top.  🙂

Anyway, this morning, instead of just sitting there like a vegetable for 2 hours before I muster up enough energy to do the dishes or something, I felt pretty “normal” after just 10 minutes of getting up.  Stairs don’t seem like Mount Everest, although I still sound like a beached whale getting to the top.

Will let you know how it goes… so far, if the “everything’s hilarious” goes away, I’m giving it a thumbs up.  😀


Pic taken on the way down to the sea… hundreds of these beautiful caterpillars everywhere!