I ♥ my heart

Well, you would have thought I’m be pretty cheesed off with my heart at the moment, but quite the opposite – it’s doing a fabulous job with what it’s got.  😀

The point is I’m dying.  But not any more to the point that anyone else that’s alive.  And my ticker is doing it’s very best not to make that happen too soon.

I’m not gonna go into the incompetence of the doctors on the blog, but let’s just say none of them found it concerning that I am so knackered I have to crawl up the stairs, that I have blinding headaches each day, and that I am constantly queasy.  In the end they only gave me an ECG to “prove me wrong”, and none would take the bother to listen to my heart (which would have led to an ECG anyway, but atleast it would have been an ECG done for the right reasons).

Doctor refused to discuss the ECG results, and claimed he wanted to send me to an ECHO, to give me peace of mind.  I told him there was no need for any ECHO as long as he could tell me my ECG results were fine.  He didn’t.  Nor did he say they were bad.  He was worried, as three of them had been dismissing what I’d told them.  I asked for a copy of the ECG results, he didn’t want to give them to me.  He asked if I knew how to read them, if I knew someone who knows how to read them.  My plan was to plaster them online, and have someone who knows their shit help me out… there was no need for that.  When he eventually gave in and handed me a copy – ANYONE that can read English can read the results – as they’re written in English right there in the top right corner!!!

So… that’s **abnormal ECG** with Sinus Tachycardia, ST Depression and Left Artial Enlargement.  And I’m now awaiting an ECHO scan.

But… as I said, my heart’s doing a marvellous job.  It will race like a proper bastard to tell me to sit down, it will feel tight to tell me “watch out!”, and it’s making me exhausted, so I cannot do anything.  Good little ticker, keeping me here.

What I do NOT appreciate is the blinding headaches!  Which is also why I’m not online much… if I don’t like or comment on your posts, or don’t reply to a comment… I’m not ignoring you, it’s simply a task I cannot do much of.  Nor do I appreciate the constant queasiness.  Rocking back ond forth on the sofa hoping to puke (yes, I’d love to puke, if that would make me feel better) is not what I consider fun, especially not when you mix it with the headaches.  😀

Now, I know from last year, the headaches and queasiness is just warning signals (that unless things change – something I prefer not to happen, WILL happen).  It’s ok, I got the message.  Now please turn them off.  😀



12 thoughts on “I ♥ my heart

    • If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m too knackered to laught, it would have been laughable. 😀

      My favourite is that he only agreed to an ECG to “prove me wrong”. That’s not a doctor. That’s an idiot with a God complex that’s got a medical degree. A “doctor” would have wanted to help me find out what’s causing me to be so unwell.

      I’ve taken notes of everything that’s been said, by whom, and will complain. However, at the moment I need services that only they can arrange, and I doubt it very much if they would be willing to provide those services if I kick up more of a fuss than I already have (they have bee informed their service is appaling). So, until I get things fixed, I will just give them the evil eye, and tell them how I feel. A letter of complaint will however be issued when I’ve gotten help (so far I’ve had none, no advise on how to control or deal with any issues… but on the advise of other heart problem sufferers I now take asprin daily, and also walk around with glyseryl trinitate spray on me, incase worst comes to worst).

      • It’s just about the opposite… it’s a relaxer. 😀 But what it relaxes is the smooth muscles in veins and arteries, making them widen, so the heart doesn’t need to do too much hard work to be working properly.

        Aye, this is a battle I will wait to fight until I’ve gotten some help (I proably just need a couple of stents stuck in place and some pills to keep the blood pressure down).

      • Well you keep hanging around these labcoat yahoos and you’re definitely gonna need to keep your blood pressure down!

        So kind of like Nitro then, like for case or Angina etc

    • Thank you! But sadly there’s no good medical attention available (private there is, but that’s not an option that I can currently afford). Chances are I will now have to wait for weeks, if not months, for the ECHO.

      If it’s weeks, then that means I will continue to feel this shitty until then… if it’s months, I suspect I will have a heart attack before that. 😀 Which, if I survive, means I will get proper care at the hospital. If I don’t, atleast I can rest assured my other half will make sure those that prevented me from getting the care I needed in time will be outed. 😀

      • It’s just the sadest thing that people can’t receive the attention they deserve. I admire those countries in the world that have made it possible for everyone to get medical services for free.

    • Ack – don’t be a fucking wet blanket like my other half. 😀 He sits and stares at me like I’m gonna drop any second.

      I got no intentions of going anywhere soon, but I’m lucky like that, I don’t fear the road that we all end up taking in the end. I’m no believer in heaven and hell, but I think it’s gonna be pretty awesome. 😀 I have no regrets, nor any “I cannot die – I haven’t seen the pyramids!” thoughts. When the day comes, and hopefully not for a few years yet, it will be an “ok, guess that’s it” from me.

      But I’m getting so frustrated! I know my heart is causing most problems, but there’s also the constant fevers, so something’s seriously wrong (although fever can also be caused by muscle damage, like the heart, so it might be tied in with that). And the docs don’t give a damn.

      If I was better I’d jump a plane and go see a doc where I grew up, but sadly I’m not in any shape to do so. And as private docs are so unbeliveable expensive (and we need to eat!), I’m stuck with the service I currently got. It’s alright though, everyone gets the same shitty service – atleast I’m not alone. Hahahaha.

      • I guess I was just startled about how candid you were being. Your other half is just worried.

        If you’re able to be upbeat and laugh about it, I’m PRETTY confident you’re going to like this, Cathy 😀 :

      • Hahahahah – he’s brill. I was laughing by the “long line of death”, and as un-lady like as you can get – snorting by the time he got to the story of his dad! 😀

        Aye, I know the other half is worried, but I’ve told him not to. Pointless to be worried about something you cannot do anything about. If I tell him to drive me to the hospital – THEN he can start to worry. 😀 I understand though, we got 14 years invested in eachother, I have myself told him that if he dares to drop dead on me, I’ll bring him back just so I can kill him myself for being such a bastard. 😀

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